You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
