Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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