im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
