Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
