Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
they're like a gay fantastic four
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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