Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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