Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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