These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
