I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
