Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
