her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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