I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
