Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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