just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
