Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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