My first STD was from a foam party
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
