I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize