Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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