I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
