took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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