i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
