my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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