So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
