love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
