I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
