He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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