It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
