Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize