Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
