it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
