I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
