You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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