I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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