OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
