so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
