Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
