Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
