I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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