Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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