i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
