I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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