yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize