So drunk, too bad you don't want this
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
