Got a toothbrush?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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