That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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