That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize