I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
