i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
