If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So many bounce houses so little time
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
