No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
True strength comes from lack of pants
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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