Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
