The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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