so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
