Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
