i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
nutella sex= disaster
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize