fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize