I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
