Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
