More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
