so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
