What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
