I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
