so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
